{"product_id":"my-inner-child-warning-shirt","title":"My Inner Child Warning Graphic T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe whole design runs on a mismatch. It is printed on soft pastels and heathers, in the format of a polite notice, and the thing being politely announced is not polite at all. \u003cstrong\u003eThe last word is blunt, so read the first photograph before you order\u003c\/strong\u003e — we have kept the exact wording on the shirt rather than in this description.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy The Pastel Matters\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOn a black shirt this line would read as aggression. On heather prism peach and mauve it reads as a confession, because the color is doing the opposite of what the words are doing and the gap between them is the joke. That is why the palette here is deliberately soft: \u003cstrong\u003ethe shirt is funny in pale colors and merely rude in dark ones\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is worth knowing when you pick between the four.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWho This Joke Lands With\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomeone who is self-aware about a short fuse rather than proud of it. The word \u003cem\u003ewarn\u003c\/em\u003e is what makes it work — it frames the whole thing as courtesy extended in advance, which reads very differently from a shirt that simply insults people. It suits a friend group that already talks this way; it does not suit a first meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements For The Sizes We Stock\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFour colorways — athletic heather, black heather, mauve and heather prism peach — all running the full ladder below on a Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ccaption\u003eBella+Canvas 3001 garment measurements, in inches\u003c\/caption\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eChest, flat\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eChest, around\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth figures are taken on the garment laid flat, and the around column is the flat chest doubled — the room the shirt gives you. Length is shoulder to hem. \u003cstrong\u003eTwo inches of chest per size step is a wide ladder\u003c\/strong\u003e, which means being between sizes here is less common than it is on a fitted cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eFabric And Print\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton at 4.2 oz per square yard. The combing step removes the short fibres that make cheaper cotton feel dusty, and the low weight means it drapes close rather than standing away from the body. The lettering is set large and stacked in block capitals, so it holds up at a distance and does not depend on fine detail surviving the wash. Turn the shirt inside out before it goes in the machine and dry it low; on a light ground the risk is not the ink lifting but the shirt itself greying, which makes the contrast look weaker than it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWording, Colors And Wearing It Out\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy is the wording not written out here?\u003c\/strong\u003e Because this page is read where the shirt is not — a search listing, a link sent to someone, an order confirmation. Leaving the phrase in the photograph means no one buys it unseen while our own writing stays clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhich color is the safest choice?\u003c\/strong\u003e Heather prism peach. It is the furthest from what the words are doing, so it carries the joke rather than the edge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan it be worn to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e Depends entirely on the workplace, and honestly on the last word. If you have to think about it, the answer is no — the print is chest-width and there is no layering it out of sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@type\":\"FAQPage\",\"mainEntity\":[{\"@type\":\"Question\",\"name\":\"Why is the wording not written out in the description?\",\"acceptedAnswer\":{\"@type\":\"Answer\",\"text\":\"This page is read where the shirt is not: a search listing, a shared link, an order confirmation. Leaving the phrase in the photograph means nobody buys it unseen.\"}},{\"@type\":\"Question\",\"name\":\"Which color is the safest choice?\",\"acceptedAnswer\":{\"@type\":\"Answer\",\"text\":\"Heather prism peach. It is furthest from what the words are doing, so it carries the joke rather than the edge.\"}},{\"@type\":\"Question\",\"name\":\"Can it be worn to work?\",\"acceptedAnswer\":{\"@type\":\"Answer\",\"text\":\"It depends on the workplace and on the last word. If you have to think about it the answer is no, because the print is chest-width and cannot be layered out of sight.\"}}]}\u003c\/script\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Bella + Canvas","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495259949,"sku":"50259428966675","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495784237,"sku":"50259428999443","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495817005,"sku":"50259429032211","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495849773,"sku":"50259429064979","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495882541,"sku":"50259429097747","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":52248495915309,"sku":"50259429130515","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248495948077,"sku":"50259429163283","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248495980845,"sku":"50259429196051","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248496013613,"sku":"50259429228819","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248496046381,"sku":"50259429261587","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248496079149,"sku":"50259429294355","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black Heather","offer_id":52248496111917,"sku":"50259429327123","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496144685,"sku":"50259429359891","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496177453,"sku":"50259429425427","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496210221,"sku":"50259429458195","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496242989,"sku":"50259429490963","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496275757,"sku":"50259429523731","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Mauve","offer_id":52248496308525,"sku":"50259429556499","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496341293,"sku":"50259429589267","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496374061,"sku":"50259429622035","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496406829,"sku":"50259429654803","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496439597,"sku":"50259429687571","price":33.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496472365,"sku":"50259429720339","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Prism Peach","offer_id":52248496505133,"sku":"50259429753107","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0667\/4553\/2717\/files\/my-inner-child-warning-shirt-athletic-heather.png?v=1787352714","url":"https:\/\/aysire.com\/products\/my-inner-child-warning-shirt","provider":"Aysire","version":"1.0","type":"link"}